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Why We Find It Hard to Be Honest With Ourselves

We don’t know how we feel, but act like we do

Phoebe Kirke
4 min readJul 24, 2022
Photo by Arun Prakash on Unsplash

We know what we feel. At least, that’s what we think. This might be because we are increasingly more aware of the importance of coping effectively with our emotions (also, it’s an important leadership skill). However, this is much harder than expected.

We constantly fail to pinpoint what we’re feeling.

Moreover, in many cases, the most obvious explanations are the least accurate ones. So we usually look for explanations that suit us best. Why? Because sometimes we don’t want to know what is upsetting us.

To feel or to flee — what’s it gonna be?

We mainly live in a culture that resists and fears emotions. We’re taught to suppress strong emotions — even as babies, we’re taught to quickly eliminate “negative” emotions such as anger, sadness, and pain. However, learning to suppress or over-control our emotions has serious consequences. When we avoid our emotions, we shut out important clues about who we are. As a result, we limit our ability to recognize ourselves and cannot fully experience or shape our lives.

People who do not recognize and deal with their emotions have been shown to have poor health and increased symptoms of physical…

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Phoebe Kirke
Phoebe Kirke

Written by Phoebe Kirke

Feminist, activist, sister, but above all, hurt. Writing is my path to living life to the fullest.

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